Dear Work for Hire Guest,
your invite letter is further below.
Dear Director, Producers,
and the following people,
In order for me to find common ground with the seculars, especially the Hollywood elites further down this page, I use Lightening Laughter, Hearty Tears, Sound-Rhythms, Biblical Doctrine, and Organic Fertilizer Language to help plant God's Truth, with His Water, and His Light as a permaculture process that the retroactive, troglodyte-Neanderthal seculars can understand.
When in Rome, I will NOT do as the Romans do, but I will speak organically with the language of the fertilizer in the best ways I can with reverse psychology and the utmost respect.
Not only am I a born again Christian, I'm a tactical comedian, a reverse psychologist, and a hunter and a fisher of men, which at times requires my wild humor to spray everyone like a bottle of champagne.
Love and forgiveness, which is the epitome of Christ and the concern for others, are the first medicines, laughter is the second medicine. Music is the third medicine. Although I attempt to befriend creatures, like the Crocodile Hunter does with a T-rex, I'm not a friend to the world, but a helping hand to those in the trenches, like a Florence Nightengale Mary Poppins with a spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down. It boils down to, I'm not perfect, I'm human too.
If you'd like to hear my testimony, it's at the bottom of this page.
Send this page link as the invite work for hire letter to the people listed further down the page, and or to the substitute list.
Smoky Mountain Men's Retreat
Rocky VS Smithy
Dear Celebrity Guest,
You’re invited to the first ever Smoky Mountain Men's Retreat. This retreat will be contracted as a work for hire reality TV mini-series.
When in the midst of a shit storm, which of late we’ve had plenty of, God’s plentiful, spiritual food must first be planted and sewn into that shit. We love and support both Will and Chris.
The world will want to see this reality special unfold into whatever happens, happens. You better believe you’ll be cashing in on it. We cannot let a good, froggy fresh prince, sugar smack cereal go to waste, now can we.
GOD'S MESSAGE TO WILL AND CHRIS
God wanted me to share this short message with Will and Chris, okay so I wrote it in my own words, but it's still God's message.
"Come, enjoy this men's retreat! Face the Amazing Grace music, which I, your Father in heaven created. Trust Me, I Am in control and have much in store for the both of you, if you're both willing to step up to the plate and crack some eggs, as in omelet-it happen. Unless you're both yeller-belly, beta, chick feel-lazy pansies, which looks like Will is Willing to let the Son of Man shine through him like a roaring lion."
I love Will’s chivalry, which is a tiny bit similar to the story of Hosea and Gomer. Will, you did what you had to do, shit happens. I love Chris’s humor and when it comes to making money in comedy, I'm right there with you. People can roast my ass all day long about my disability, because that laffy taffy shit rolls off my back like a duck on water.
Chris Rock, it's inevitable that all humans will get their ass whooped in hell if they don't get born again with Jesus as their objectively, justifiable friend and advocate.
The only direction that we have for everyone at the retreat, well there is no direction, things will happen candidly. Unless of course you'd all like to memorize the song, Amazing Grace, and as you serve yourself the FIRST self-serve catered meal, you will give thanks to God for your meal by singing that song to let the whole world know that we are ALL wretched poop bags, including me, the 95 pound little Born Again Christian lady on disability with rheumatoid arthritis, who’s putting this MIRACLE FROM GOD together for you.
Maybe Dolly Parton can come and start singing that motivational song with you guys by giving you a warm welcome to her home state. Maybe she'll eat that first meal with you guys and then be on her way. Maybe she'll come and visit again during the duration of filming to encourage everyone to use the meditation pool.
And as far as equality goes, the only things that make any human equal to another human are these few things: heartbeat, breathing, poohing, peeing, sleeping, thirst, hunger, burping, farting, sneezing, itching, hair and nail growth, degrees of emotion, we're all sinners subject to hell, we're all made in the image of God, we all have the opportunity to come to Christ.
EEKWILLS : EEKWELLS : EEKWOOLS : EEKWALLS :
eekwills is the will of God. eekwells is the living waters. eekwools is the seperation of the goats and the sheep, the old ewe and the new ewe. eekwalls are the walls, which are the spaces, as in heaven, hell, and earth. As Offspring would sing, gotta keep em separated, walls.
So having said that, I've included a few famous women to help in the kitchen. Any men who would like to help these women out in the kitchen by stocking the fridge with bottled water for instance, thank you. You, strong, virile, famous men will be taking out the trash. Might as well do some chores, since you're getting paid for it. And you'll all be doing your own laundry as in first come first serve.
ATTENDING WORK FOR HIRE GUESTS
We hope and pray that the following people will be able to attend. We have a substitute list of men for anyone who cannot attend. Will and Chris are the guests of honor, or else the show won't go on, and believe me people will pay to see this show.
We'll have plenty of supportive, caring men at the lodge who will want to support the likes of both Chris and Will equally with humble humility under God, especially after they read the 16-page Meditation Pool Guide, which has much to do with pondering upond God's Lilly Pads and Frog Princes with wisdom, truth, humor and love.
THE LODGE
The Landmark Lodge is a close-nit FORT for big boys who want to camp out in luxury. God chose this retreat because of the private, indoor meditation-pool. We encourage Will and Chris to do the guided meditation. No one is required to do this pool meditation.
The indoor pool is 13' x 6' and 3' to 5' deep. This pool room will be made private by putting up newspapers or aluminum foil or wrapping paper taped to the windows and glass door of the pool room. Camera crew can do this task on the first arrival day, which needs to be on a Sunday, before majority of guests arrive on the following Monday. Becket Cook, Victoria Jackson, and her husband Paul will arrive on Sunday with either ICON or Pinnacle Peaks to prepare for the arrival of the rest of the guests on Monday.
There are 25 king bedrooms each with a bathroom and TV. There are two living rooms, a game room, a theater room, and a deck with two hot tubs.
THINGS TO BRING WITH YOU
Come, relax, take it easy and enjoy your brothers with unconditional agape love and brotherly love. Bring your acoustic guitar and play between these hours 11 am and 10 pm out at the fire pit or on the 2nd floor hot tub deck.
Bring your laptop and bring your swimsuit for the guided meditation pool that will be used privately by anyone who would like to do the guided mediation. It's always good to get back to center. The pool will only be used for guided meditation. If you want leisure, use the hot tubs.
Be sure to pack a briefcase or an extra small bag to bring home the meditation folder and possibly some free books from Living Waters.
No pets allowed. No smoking in the cabin facility.
If you need to smoke 'things', please do so out at the firepit.
Bring enough towels for your bathing needs (including something to step on after you bathe). Don't forget towels for the meditation pool and two deck hot tubs. There are two washer and dryers for everyone to use, one the 2nd floor and one on the 3rd floor.
BEDROOMS & POOL PREPERATION
Each bedroom will have one meditation booklet. These booklets will either be in possession of the production team or in the possession of Becket Cook, via snail mail flash drive sent by Kristy Sokol. These booklets will be put into each room by Becket or a crew member. Colorful, personal door signs, created by Kristy Sokol, will be taped on assigned bedroom doors to show each guest where their room is. Possible substitute names will be printed on holographic paper by the crew.
The first arrivals to the retreat will use wrapping paper and tape, delivered from a local store, to cover up the windows and glass door of the swimming pool room.
WHAT'S ON THE MENU?
We will be catering 3 meals per day for the majority of the stay. If you need special diet foods, or special drinks, or special snacks or if you have allergies, then the following link will give you grocery stores in the area that may or may not deliver.
If you need special foods, laundry aids or hygiene aids or any other type of aids, have them delivered from the store on your own dime. The kitchen has a blender, if you need to blend a special diet.
Our caterer is Frutiful Vintage Chef located in Sevierville TN. Check them out at these menu links to see what we might be eating and let us know if you will or won't be eating from this caterer. If you prefer to order your own food from restaurants that deliver or a grocery store, then that is on your dime.
We will have the fridges stocked with bottled water, coffee creamers and deli snack trays. We'll have healthy, dry-good snacks like nuts and crackers, gourmet coffees and boxes of tea stocked in the kitchen.
CATERING DETAILS
Catering for Mondays through Saturdays, 3 meals per day, except for Sundays. The last day will be a half day getting everyone back to the airport. Since this caterer is closed on Sundays, and since the first day of a few arrivals will be there on a Sunday, they will get takeout while they set up the rooms with the door signs, bedroom booklet folders, covering up the pool room windows, stocking the fridge and kitchen with drinks and snacks. The last day, as long as it's not on a Sunday, catering may be done for breakfast before everyone travels to the airport to wait for their flight.
LANDMARK LODGE INSTRUCTIONS
Landmark Lodge, 621 Dollywood Ln, Pigeon Forge, TN 37863
Pigeon Forge Cabin - Landmark Lodge - 25 Bedroom - Sleeps 74
The left side of the web page of the Landmark Lodge link has special discounts and deals for certain months. September looks like the cheapest month.
Book however many weeks you will need for a mini-series, starting with Sunday as the first day. Only a few people will fly in the first day. These people will have the vans delivered to the airport. These people will drive the three vans to the cabin, and they will prepare the cabin by stocking it with foods and drinks, apart from the 3 catered meals per day from Monday to Saturday. These first arrivals will also put booklet folders into each room on a bed and tape wrapping paper to the windows of the meditation pool.
Invite Dolly Parton to come to the cabin for one of the days as a surprise for everyone. Tell her what is happening, so that she will come as a sister in Christ, whether she do it for free as a paid for hire, to welcome everyone at the lodge. Ask her to gather everyone together at the lodge into the dining room so that she can encourage everyone to take some private time in the kiddie pool to relax and to talk to Jesus in private. Let Dolly do her thing, whatever that may be, in regard to uplifting everyone to Jesus.
There are 25 bedrooms, some have two queen beds and one room for the camera crew has 4 bunkbeds for 8 camera people.
The management team may line up times for the gathered open discussion speakers to speak each day at specific times in designated areas to whomever decides to sit in and listen. Areas will be in the TV room, the living room, the game room, and the dinning room. Signs may be printed and put up on walls for all to see where and what times these people will be speaking.
THE WORK FOR HIRE GUESTS
1 Mel Gibson
2 Alice Cooper
3 Tim Allen
4 Justin Bieber
5 Brian Head Welch
6 Chris Tucker
7 Kirk Cameron open discussion speaker.
8 Ray Comfort open discussion speaker.
9 Kanye West
10 Brian Hugh Warner (Marylin Manson)
11 Will Smith and possibly Jaden
12 Chris Rock
13 Jim Carrey
14 Roseanne Barr
15 Johnny Argent (Roseannes husband)
16 Joe Rogan
17 Frank Turek open discussion speaker.
18 Jordan B Peterson
19 Cody J Leatherbury aka Bloodbought
therealbloodbought@gmail.com
20 Cliffe Knetchle open discussion speaker.
21 Stuart or Robert Knetchle open discussion speaker.
What do the Knetchles do? They answer hard biblical questions with technical support.
22 Victoria Jackson
23 Paul Wessel
24 Becket Cook
25 Michael J Fox
26 Tracy Pollan
27 Todd Friel (678)-585-4719 open discussion speaker.
28 Emeal Zwayne of Living Waters open discussion speaker.
29 Oscar Navarro of Living Waters open discussion speaker.
30 Mark Spence of Living Waters open discussion speaker.
31 Camera Crew
32 Camera Crew
33 Camera Crew
34 Camera Crew
35 Camera Crew
36 Camera Crew
37 Camera Crew
38 Camera Crew
IMPORTANT: Any other type of TV crew members will have to stay somewhere else and rent regular cars, not the van rentals, to get you back and forth to and from the Lodge.
SUBSTITUTE WORK FOR HIRE GUESTS:
IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER WITH THE LIST ABOVE
IF NUMBER 1.) FROM THE LIST ABOVE CAN'T MAKE IT, THEN NUMBER 1.) FROM THE LIST BELOW WILL BE ASKED TO FILL IN FOR NUMBER 1.) FROM THE LIST ABOVE.
1.) Kevin Sorbo
2.) Chuck Norris
3.) Chris Pratt
4.) Corin Nemic
5.) John Schneider
6.) Chris Massoglia
7.) AJ McClean
8.) Kevin Richardson
9.) Jim Caviezel
10.) Shia LeBouef
11.) Will Smith
12.) Chris Rock
13.) Mark Wahlberg
14.) Denzel Washington
15.) Kelsey Grammar
16.) Ryan Gossling
17.) Johnny Depp
18.) Tyler Perry
19.) Mr. T
20.) Elija Wood
21.) MC Hammer
22.) Jeff Foxworthy
23.) Toby Keith
24.) Colton Dixon
25.) Smokey Robinson
26.) Evander Holyfield
27.) Toby Mac
28.) Brian Littrell
29.) Nick Carter
30.) Howard Dorough
31 Camera Crew
32 Camera Crew
33 Camera Crew
34 Camera Crew
35 Camera Crew
36 Camera Crew
37 Camera Crew
38 Camera Crew
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VAN / CAR RENTAL
Three or four 15-seater minibus vans should be enough to carry up to the 38 staying at the lodge and any other crew members. All luggage in the third and possible fourth van.
The first people arriving on a Sunday, they will drive the vans to the lodge and set up the lodge. Then on Monday, they will drive the vans to the airport to pick up everyone else.
Extra crew members will have to rent car(s) and they'll have to stay somewhere else. There is one room that has 4 queen bunks, where 8 camera crew people will sleep.
McGhee Tyson Airport
Room Map / Assigned Rooms
BEDROOM DOOR SIGNS
I, Kristy, will send the Formatted PDF Door Signs with the Meditation Booklet PDF flash drive via snail mail. Read the Meditation Booklet instructions further below, which will also be on the flash drive.
Email Kristy Sokol to request the flash drive.
Meditation Pool Booklet Instructions
Size 8 x 11
Pages 20 (with 16 inside)
Cover Premium Matte
Quantity 25
Buy 25 folders to put the booklets inside of at the link below. This way guests for hire can take their booklet home safely.
The Holy Spirit
made
Crazy Kristy
compose this retreat.
You can blame her and
The Holy Spirit.
